As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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