Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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