i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
pop tarts are not kleenex
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
