This is not my ceiling
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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