Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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