I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
