As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well I just put wine in my tea
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
