Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(321): Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance. http://tfl.nu/ue6b

Replies (56) Good night (1546) Bad night (2587)
Favorite
(989): View more from Michigan

News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.

(1-989): View more from Michigan

Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(989): News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus. (1-989): Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right. http://tfl.nu/jho0

Replies (22) Good night (4711) Bad night (1082)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster. http://tfl.nu/0ncd

Replies (16) Good night (1205) Bad night (5061)
Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru". http://tfl.nu/gnr7

Replies (26) Good night (1343) Bad night (6152)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all. http://tfl.nu/2iln

Replies (125) Good night (15362) Bad night (1522)
Favorite
(409): View more from Texas

Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(409): Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing. http://tfl.nu/yp46

Replies (22) Good night (1877) Bad night (5288)
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left. http://tfl.nu/juzo

Replies (3) Good night (1154) Bad night (3020)
Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out http://tfl.nu/voyg

Replies (4) Good night (2140) Bad night (962)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/hix3

Replies (6) Good night (1958) Bad night (729)
Favorite
(334): View more from Alabama

I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.

(1-334): View more from Alabama

Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(334): I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does. (1-334): Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers. http://tfl.nu/3563

Replies (22) Good night (4877) Bad night (991)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke. http://tfl.nu/7s6d

Replies (5) Good night (1573) Bad night (1449)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point. http://tfl.nu/bf1e

Replies (6) Good night (614) Bad night (1252)
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked. http://tfl.nu/smzj

Replies (3) Good night (658) Bad night (430)
Favorite
(765): View more from Indiana

You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(765): You made out with both twins? Ten points to you! http://tfl.nu/66hj

Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (197)
Favorite
(618): View more from Illinois

I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(618): I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little. http://tfl.nu/lho3

Replies (2) Good night (261) Bad night (399)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard