a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.