You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major