Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
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Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.