Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Randomize
Follow @tfln