i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I want you more than these girls want KFC
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys