Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

How did you manage that?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis

(203): View more from Connecticut

lol... jersey girls rock

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(203): How did you manage that? (860): Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis (203): lol... jersey girls rock http://tfl.nu/qjnw

Replies (66) Good night (1064) Bad night (2910)
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(646): View more from New York

maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.

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(646): maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick. http://tfl.nu/wm19

Replies (9) Good night (618) Bad night (4149)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night

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(617): the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night http://tfl.nu/rgw3

Replies (12) Good night (4755) Bad night (607)
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(516): View more from New York

doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine

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(516): doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine http://tfl.nu/5fcf

Replies (32) Good night (2461) Bad night (7191)
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(516): View more from New York

The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"

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(516): The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse" http://tfl.nu/y3e0

Replies (10) Good night (5206) Bad night (848)
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(831): View more from California

i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?

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(831): i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock? http://tfl.nu/twxe

Replies (5) Good night (4980) Bad night (1066)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.

(1-662): View more from Mississippi

I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.

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(662): Stop introducing me to people as your little sister. (1-662): I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother. http://tfl.nu/5xkr

Replies (31) Good night (7963) Bad night (1575)
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(949): View more from California

My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.

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(949): My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship. http://tfl.nu/pxfl

Replies (11) Good night (3237) Bad night (1182)
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(515): View more from Iowa

His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.

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(515): His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him. http://tfl.nu/q8r5

Replies (10) Good night (3672) Bad night (1097)
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(607): View more from New York

I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.

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(607): I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable. http://tfl.nu/31u9

Replies (9) Good night (480) Bad night (1463)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.

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(403): Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit. http://tfl.nu/379t

Replies (9) Good night (2840) Bad night (522)
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(561): View more from Florida

Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!

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(561): Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?! http://tfl.nu/98de

Replies (13) Good night (1163) Bad night (573)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.

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(405): We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch. http://tfl.nu/g5x2

Replies (4) Good night (1601) Bad night (467)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole

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(913): Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole http://tfl.nu/jf5e

Replies (2) Good night (317) Bad night (532)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.

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(+44): Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later. http://tfl.nu/23tp

Replies (0) Good night (310) Bad night (260)

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