Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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