i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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