I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
