What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I love you. Go after that dick
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
