So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
