Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
