Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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