just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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