I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
