Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
