I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
