And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
