I'm lost and stupid without you.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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