he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
