honey bunches of taint.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
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She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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