i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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