I just saw a hot homeless man
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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