no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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