u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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