I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
