i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
my liver is dry heaving
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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