you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
