high people should be assigned attendants
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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