were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
