She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
