I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
