Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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