It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
