There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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