bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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