mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
