Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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