Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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