Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
