That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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