i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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