we're blogging at a bar
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
