Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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