I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize