You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Randomize
