You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
