She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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