Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
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its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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