So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
