It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
