Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
