I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
