why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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