she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
