break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
