i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
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We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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